A plan

It’s 12:20am, and my neighbor is playing “Hotel Song” by Regina Spektor.

He’s gotten into this habit lately, this playing music at all hours habit. Last week, he was playing music at 3:30am. And let’s be honest here: when I can still recognize the music after it’s been muffled by wood, insulation, and a couple layers of drywall, it’s probably at an inappropriate volume for any time between 11:00pm and 7:00am.

And I’ve noticed that he tries to be very hip with his music choices (with the exception of Regina Spektor, which is getting a tad bit mainstream for your typical hipster). We’re talking skinny pants and aviator glasses hip. We’re talking experimental electronic music with a childlike female voice hip.

So I’ve devised a plan to counteract his hipness.

This plan includes the following selections from my music library, in no particular order:

• “Fishin’ in the Dark” by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
• “(I Just) Died in Your Arms” by Cutting Crew
• “Land of 1000 Dances” by Wilson Pickett
• the entire “Dreaming of You” album by Selena, with special emphasis put on any songs with a distinctly Tejano style.
• the entire “Wide Open Spaces” album by The Dixie Chicks
• “Apples and Bananas” and “Bananaphone” by Raffi
• Garth Brooks’s first four albums, in their entirety
• Classic Disney, Volumes I-IV
• “Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (Not actually a component of my music library at this point, but I’m thinking it would make an excellent addition.)
• “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. Looped. For an hour.